Musings on Guard Duty
by Quijote3000
Summary: Different characters, different thoughts, while the events move to the climax UPDATED


Musings on guard duty

You are powerful, warrior. I knew that already, but I didn't know you were SO powerful. You defeated all of us in seconds, using your true body. And still... you are weak, because you couldn't kill us. Not even with the power of a dead god on you, not even then you could manage enough courage to kill us.

Fool. You are weak. Would our roles be reversed, you would be already dead. 

Then again, I prefer you alive, at least will we get out of this place. 

And what now? We will reach that Irenicus guy, and we will kill him. And then we will go for that vampire bitch, and we will kill her. It's amazing how many things can be solved with killing. It would be easier if you used your taint to destroy them, but you won't. Because you are a fool, and you are scared of using your power.

I prefer it this way. No fun on killing if a damn monster does all the work. Tomorrow we will face the wizard and the vampire, and blood will cover my axe. And I will be happy.

***

Is Galvarey right? I wonder. Am I right? I also wonder

I don't know, I wish I knew. I have doubts, doubts that I shouldn't have. I have become a traitor. A traitor to old friends that I couldn't save. Traitor to the harpers, that were my family. Traitor to the memory of Khalid, because I have done things and said things that betray the tears I cried inside Irenicus' dungeon. I won't be a traitor to you too.

Listen to me, Jaime. You have been a great friend and more to me. You helped me to survive the death of Khalid. You helped me with Ployer. You helped me with the rogue harpers. And for that I thank you.

I feel something about you, but that won't stop me from doing my duty. For Gorion, for the harpers, for Khalid, for you, and even for me, I'll strike you down if the taint becomes too strong.

Please, if there is really anything between us, understand me. I'll kill you if I have to.

***

Boo is worried about my friend Jaime. He changed and transformed to a big mean monster. When he changed back to my friend Jaime, I was going to hit him with my boot because I thought Jaime was dead, but Boo told me that Jaime was fighting against Jaime. How can one fight against himself? Maybe he was fighting in front of a mirror?

I don't know. But I don't worry because Boo is wiser. Boo will explain things that don`t make sense to Minsc. The others don't understand Boo, but Boo understand them. 

I remember when Boo and Minsc met. I would love to tell the others, but I promised Boo I never would tell anybody because we will be able to kick evil in the but very easily like this. Boo said that, and Boo is wiser. Because Boo is a space-hamster, and he has many things that people don't know about.

***

Who are you, Boo?

I see you looking at me? I sometimes laugh at Jaime for being so stupid as to not asking for my pledge of loyalty. In those moments I start making plans. Plans for killing him as he sleeps like now. Plans about getting my revenge, and then making the world suffer. To drown  the land in blood, to maybe regain the favour of my father.

But then I see you looking at me while the other sleep. I don't see hope in your eyes when you look at me, like Jaime's. I don't see pity, like Imoen's. I don't see hate, like Jaheira's.

Your eyes are only there, making questions. Making me wonder about the path I took. You make me think about Winski, the only real mortal father I knew. I slew him for being weak. You make me think about Tamoko, the only one I loved. Jaime forgave her life. Maybe she came back to her home, hating me all the way.

You make me wonder about my decisions, all the way since I learned about my heritage. You make me wonder about my own identity.

Who are you, Boo? Who am I?

***

I am the most powerful wizard in all multiuniverse.

I don't need anybody. Why then, I feel I need you? We have faced many enemies in the past. Monsters, dragons, shadows, vampires... and we have always won. Why? Because of me. Because I am all-powerful.  My fire can burn and destroy any enemy. I am a master of destruction. A wielder of wills. A nexus of power tapped into the very living lines of the cosmos. Heavens bow to the might of my magic. Gods quiver in fear that I should find them lacking my favour. Reality itself is nothing but my plaything, nothing more than clay the hands of the sculptor. I can shake the bounds of creation with only one word. I tap the power of magic to bring destruction around me.

I quit the Red Mages because they were weak. I brought the end of the Shadow Thieves because they were weak. I don't need anybody. I joined you because I was interested in your powers, not for anything else.

And yet you trust me. And yet you care about me, trapped in this insufferable body of a woman

Thanks.

I am the most powerful wizard in all multiuniverse... And I need you.

***

Darkness. I see only darkness around me. I should be scared, but I know that the worse darkness is inside me.

Gorion never told me the truth. He tried to save me from myself, but he failed. Now I am a monster that walks with human form. The darkness whisper sounds in my ear. Sounds of power, sounds of revenge. 

I can still control it, but I don't know for how long. Jaime already failed once. How long will be able to keep our taint controlled?

I remember the carnival back in Candlekeep, where Jaime and I used to wear costumes and masks. Now that's exactly what I am doing. I am wearing a human body hiding my real form. The form of the Slayer. 

And I am wearing also a mask. Tomorrow morning I'll awake the others smiling, and I'll try to make jokes in the middle of our despair to bring joy to the hearts of others. That will be my mask, the mask of happiness to hide the darkness that keeps growing inside me.

***

Twenty seven vampires! You killed twenty seven vampires in less than thirty seconds! Do you realize your power? Do you realize your true potential? Ahhh, you turn your head away, wishing you could kill me. A pity, you know. There is nothing you can do. Because you are me, and I are you... this gets complicated after a while, I guess

Oh, well. Let's just say, that you are screwed. I mean, why do you keep fighting. You almost killed your love before. How long do you think you can keep your taint from manifesting. Only give me a few seconds of your time. If you accepted your heritage, you would be invincible. Think about it. You could resurrect your lost friends. You could finally get Jaheira... You could give Imoen's soul back to her. Don't you care about your sister? Because if you don't give up, you are hurting her. Hurting her and hurting all those that love you. How many people, friends, family, have died for your fault. And some of them have died because you directly killed them

You are a monster, you can't avoid the truth. And avoiding me is only temporary. You can't deny your blood. You can't deny your destiny.


End file.
